Friday, June 27, 2008

Many Seeds

John 12:24

Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.

This verse has been a great blessing and help to me so many times. There have been days when I was totally overwhelmed by my kids. In fact, I did not think they were blessings at the time, more like burdens.

My oldest son is a challenge to say the least. I have stayed awake at night praying for God to show me what this child needs. He has been a challenge since he learned to crawl! At 2 years old I caught him on top of my refrigerator. He has so much energy that I can not keep up with him or the trouble he causes. At the end of the day when he was younger (now he is 14) I was exhausted from of all the consequences I had to hand out to him.

God used this verse to show me that I am like that kernel of wheat that has fallen to the ground. I must die to the fact that I cannot teach my son anything without the strength of Christ. I believe that if my son is to grow to become the man God has planned him to be I must be obedient, get out of the way, and let God work. I am only an instrument in my sons’ life. My job as his mother is to seek the Lord’s guidance and be obedient in what He tells me to do. This is so hard because as a parent you want to control all that happens in our children’s life. And to an extent we are supposed to, but we cannot control what decisions they will make. We have to leave that up to the Lord. We must die to self as parents so that the Lord can use us to produce many seeds of fruit in our children. Easier said than done, I know because I am still struggling with it. I like to be in control & then I hear God say, “Hello? Who is God here?” God is so much more creative than I am. When I let him be God and listen to him when I am crying out in desperation he without fail gives me ways to deal with my children that I never would have thought of by myself. And the best part is that it works!

One particular day I was extremely upset with my son. I wanted to strangle him I was so mad.(of course I wouldn’t do that) I prayed and asked God what to do with him before I went to talk to him. The Lord told me to hug him. I said, “What? You want me to hug him? I don’t even want to look at him right now much less hug him!” But I did it anyway. My son didn’t want me to hug him but I kept my arm around him and told him that God told me to hug him. At that moment he stopped struggling and hugged me back. He told me he was sorry and he corrected his behavior. I never would have thought a hug could have been that powerful but God knew what my son needed. If I would have disciplined him on my own I would have missed a great moment with him & probably just made him even angrier.

My son and I hug almost everyday now and I see in him fruit that I know I didn’t plant, but that the Lord is helping me to nurture.

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